Interviewing a parent feels strange at first, for both of you. That is normal. The goal is not a perfect interview. It is one good story, recorded, that you didn’t have yesterday.
Set it up as a gift, not a test
Tell them why you’re asking. Something like “I realized I don’t know how you two met, and I want the grandkids to hear it from you.” People open up when they know the story matters to someone.
Let them choose the time and place. Mornings are often better than evenings. Their own chair is better than yours.
Start easy and specific
Big questions like “Tell me about your life” freeze people. Small, concrete ones warm them up. “What was on the table at Sunday dinner?” gets a better start than “What was your childhood like?”
Listen more than you talk
- Let pauses run. Count to five in your head before you jump in.
- Follow the energy. If their face lights up, ask about that, even if it’s off your list.
- Ask for scenes, not summaries. “Take me to that day” works better than “How was that time?”
- Don’t correct them while recording. If a date sounds wrong, note it and check later.
Bring something to hold
Old photos, a recipe card, a report card, a uniform, a map of the old neighborhood. Objects carry memories that questions can’t reach. Ask “Who’s in this?” and “Where was this taken?” and then wait.
When a memory is hard
Some stories carry grief, and that is part of a real life. You can say “We can skip this one” and mean it. Often people want to tell the hard parts once someone asks gently. Let them lead, and stop the recording if they ask.
End on a good note
Close with something light, like a favorite trip or a funny story. Thank them, and tell them one thing you learned. Then set the next date while the good feeling is fresh.
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